thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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