Welp...herpes.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
