They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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