what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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