Is it normal to miss your booty call?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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