I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
