I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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