WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
