let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
