you guys were way drunker than both of me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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