Sponge bath it is.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
