I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Drake has all the answers
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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