is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
