Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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