we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
