My liver just broke up with me...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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