I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
