Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
