You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize