There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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