Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
