No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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