so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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