i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
