hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
