i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
