I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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