i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
