the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
