I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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