If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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