Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize