office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
