Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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