I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
