Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
