fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
