That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I've blown a few things in my day
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
