Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
