How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize