i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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