Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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