Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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