i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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