at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
