I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
