She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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