all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
vagina is talking i cant
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
