Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
