i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
