went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
