i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
