They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
