Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This house was built for laser tag.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
