Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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