remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize