Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
