The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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