Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
