I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
