NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Randomize
