Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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