its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize