nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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