After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
this boner is exhausting
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
