worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So much Jack, so little girl.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
