exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
