It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
