dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize