Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Bring me that man meat
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
