So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
