I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh god it's open bar.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
