I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
