where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
