I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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